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this is the end

or maybe just the beginning

11/22/06 01:30 pm - WHOA it still exists!

My livejournal still exists!
It's been OVER A YEAR since I've written in this thing!

I'm in 11th grade now. I survived 10th grade.
I am doing everything imaginable to ruin my own life by doing too many extracurricular activities
I am at work right now (working real hard, obviously)
I'm taking a break! Seriously guys. haha

Well how is everyone?

LJ looks so different... it's kind of creepy
like some weird ass time space contiunium.


okay holler.

9/8/05 09:33 pm - love's a fool. or maybe only fools love.

have you ever felt like you were seriously in love with someone...
not someone that you see yourself making out with...
or anything of that sort...
but someone that you knew you could take home to your parents
and you could cuddle with while eating popcorn
and would support you through everything that happens in your life,
and not leave you because they didn't call you once when you said you would...
yeah? no? either way, i often feel that way but i also get the feeling that boys just don't like me. maybe it's not because i'm overweight, maybe it's because of my personality.
maybe i'm just supposed to live my life a different way.
why would God give me desires to really find a guy to settle down with someday
if i was not intended for dating and relationships?
ugh. who knows?
i'm in love with you,
but i'd never tell you that,
not in a million years.

i hate 10th grade.
whoop de do.
i have to quit SYC and a lot of other stuff because i've bitten off more than i can chew.
i'm sick. yay.

7/27/05 11:42 pm - paris, tenessee.

so i went to paris. ... tenessee. they have the eiffel tower in the middle of a cemetary. it was pretty hawt. let me tell you. i'm in illinois.
is that how you spell it?
and if you ever say ILL-IN-OII-SSS I WILL KILL YOU.
it's ill-in-oy
moving on with my life. it's been an okay trip.
no ones dead.
i've been bunking with my nephew. he loves me. hah.
he's a cutie pie. and he snuggles with me. he's my teddy bear.
i call him pookie and he gets really mad.
been playing gamecube a lot.
we're leaving on monday to go to mt. rushmore.
okay i'm glad you're happy for me.
time for bed... shopping in the morning.

7/3/05 11:53 am - so i guess this is how it's going to be.

i called to get my ap score.
bad idea.
i'm sitting here crying,
so i guess it just means i wasted 8 dollars of my parents
to be let down.
i got a 2.
and i feel so freaking dumb and so inadequate
and so stupid.
i will never survive next year.
i can't even get a 3 on ONE AP EXAM.
3 or 4 or 5 are going to just kill me.
and i'll get twos on all of them and just suck at everything.
i feel like such crap right now.
and i just want to stop being so dumb.
how can i stay at early college when i can't even get a decent score
on ONE AP EXAM...?
i hate myself right now. that's all there is to it.
i should have studied more.
i should have done SOMETHING.
i should have never tried to be something i'm not.
i'm not a smart kid.
i had a lucky break in 6th grade.
now they've read me all wrong
and they think i'm gifted.
but i'm just as average as all the kids who don't give a rip about school.
i don't know what to do.

6/22/05 05:56 pm - an offer i can't refuse.

Christie called today.
she's my sister-in-law
and she's always trying to get me to lose weight
(in a good way)
so i weigh a whole lot.
The new deal is...
If i lose 100 pounds by my 16th birthday (next year)
she'll take me to the spa and take me shopping.

I hope so.

6/13/05 09:58 am - sing me something soft...

eee! i'm going to washington, dc with the family,
so i'll be gone for the next week or so.
(I think we're coming back on friday)
so we really only have three days to do stuff.
I get to go to the holocaust museum!
and the arlington national cemetary!
and the washington (or national?) cathedral!
and YOUR MOMS HOUSE. (assuming she lives in dc)

loves you guys.


6/9/05 04:17 pm

life is good.  summer is boring.  :-(

here's some pictures. :-)


Come see.Collapse )

6/5/05 11:54 am - yeehaw.

oh man. friday was so much fun.
my wonderful twins came.
samantha and miranda.
my lovely country girls
who gave me lovely country cds.
and kacey, emily, diya, kyrie, wing yin, eric, gon, khadijah, jamie, molli, molly.
it was superb.
we didn't get to watch all of the movie but that's okay.
they just don't apprieciate the arts.
some of them were into it.
but most of them were really distracted.
whateeeva. it's cool.
we made masks and danced around
and played country music and
i sang and had super fun. :-)
i got to show off my videos that i spend literally days making.
it was fun.
i got lots of awesome stuff.

yesterday was my real birthday and it was a complete rip off.
i didn't get what i wanted at my birthday dinner.
and it was horrible.
:-( i was sick and dead and stuff.
maybe when i feel better my fam will take me out somehwere so i can get
hot wings
and soda
and stuff that i want.
for realz.

i got two new tshirts that are hott.
and bracelets that i love
and a crown
and candy
and waterballoons
and like 10 cds! who has got a lot of new music... OH ME!
i'm 'cited about that.
i loves you guys.

6/1/05 09:33 pm

8.Laura Beth
10. Wing Yin
11. Gon
14. Kacey
15. Eric
16. Matt
17.Josh (texican)
20.Josh D.
Who is 8 going out with?: Justin Wongie
Is 9 a boy or a girl?: Girl
Would 11 and 2 make a cute couple?: Sureeee ;-)
What grade is 17 in?: 11th, nowww.
When was the last time you talked to 12?: At school yesterday.
What is 6's favorite band?: Probably not a band, probably a country singer. Favourite? I don't know.
does 1 have any siblings?: Yes. Robert.
Would you ever date 3?: OF COURSE. no.
Would you ever date 7?: We were married, once upon a time. :-D
Is 16 single?: Yessss.
What's 15's last name?: Lieu
What's 5's middle name?: Louise
What's 10's fantasy?: To be loved by me. haha. nooo probably to have a cool hott mexican boyfriend and look like she wanted.
Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?: Probably not. Kacey and Krista are not compatible. Kacey is a liberal, Krista is a Republican. haha.
What school does 20 go to?: EC, but not really, Duke, now.
Tell me a random fact about 11: he's afraid of dogs.
And 1: She's the preetiest girl in all the world and I love her.
Have you ever had a crush on 16?: Sure.
Where does 9 live?: Greensboro near school kind of.
What's 4's favorite color?: PINK!!!
Would you makeout with 14?: OF COURSE. hahahahahahahaha.
Are 5 & 6 best friends?: nooooo.
Does 7 like 20?: I donno...
Does 8 like 19?: I don't think she knows her too well.
How did you meet 15?: at school.
Does 10 have any pets?: Nope.
Is 12 older than you?: I donno, are you?
Have you ever given 13 a hug?: Actually, no... That scares me.
Is 17 the sexiest person alive?: OF COURSE. No one can beat texican.
Do you love 18: Of course. i love you sawah.

When i saw this quiz, i thought to myself, it will not get me right,
i'm sure i will not get what i love to get at starbucks most
and who would have known... IT WAS RIGHT!
I ALWAYS GET FRAPS! *dies of joy

You scored as Frappacino. Just like this drink, You are a cold person. You arent that nice to people and like to keep to yourself. You are easily angered




De-Caf Latte


White Chocolate Mocha


Espresso Shots


What Starbucks drink are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

5/22/05 12:53 pm - i am bored.


Do you wear black eyeliner: no i hate makeup.
How much black clothing do you own: t-shirts, pants, shorts, dressy stuff.
Do you think about death often: lotsa the time.
Do you want to die: before i become old and senile
Are you a social outcast: nope.
Are you pale: heck yes.
Do you cut: haven't in a lonnng time.
Do you like Hot Topic: yes it's hawt.

--Skater Punk--

Can you skateboard: i'm bad at it.
How often do you go into Vans: we don't have one of those around here...
What's your sneaker brand: converse
Do you do stupid stuff with your friends: all the time.
Are long skater haircuts cute: yessss.
How much do you get in trouble: not very much. i never get caught.
Do you listen to the bands who are considered "poseurs": not really.
How many piercings do you have: none. *sad


How often do you say the word "like": not much. if i do, i get upset.
Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch: no. i probably wouldn't if you paid me. they might have cute stuff, but it's expensive.
Are the A&F models hot: sometimes.
How often do you wear makeup: never.
Ever had a manicure: no.
Rock music is bad, right: nope.
Are you ever ditzy: sometimes.
Do you own high heels: uhhh. no not really.
Have you ever said "oh my gosh": yes.


Is your hair long: nope. i wish it wassss :-(
Are you a vegetarian: nope. used to be.
Do you own a tye dye shirt: yes.
Do you want peace: it's impossible.
Do you want to save the animals: yes. i love them.
What do you think about the war: support it.
Have you ever made a peace sign with your two fingers: yes.


Are you from the ghetto: nope.
Do you own "bling bling": naw.
What do you think about do-rags: i don't like 'em
Do you like rap: sometimes. it depends.
Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world: uhm... ?
What do you think about afros: not so much.
Have you ever said "fo shizzle": yeah.
How about "oh, snap son": no


Is life a party: sure.
How often do you get drunk: not anytime soon.
What's the point of getting drunk anyway: to dieee.
Do you care about your grades: yes.
Do you need an attitude adjustment: sometimes.


How often do you cry: if i think about it, probably once a week.
Do you have an ex: yeah
Do you have an acoustic guitar: yes.
Are you emotional: all the time.
Do you like soft music: yes. and loud.
Do people understand you: as much as they can?
Do you write your own songs: yep, i don't write the music, i write words.


Do you play any sports: does living count?
How important are they to you: nope.
How important is your reputation: pretty important.
Do you pick on the geeky kids: nope.
Are you considered a bully by anyone: i don't think so.


Do you wear glasses: no, but i need to get some more.
Do you get good grades: yep.
Are you smart: no.
Do you use an inhaler: no
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets: haha no.
Does your mom pick out your clothes: heck no.
How often are you on the computer: 24/7

what does that make me? an emotional goth punk geek hippie?
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